


On The Edge

by Anonymous



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mac hurts Charlie's feelings, Suicide, warnings for talk about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 08:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Mac fucks up, but it's Charlie who's paying for it.





	On The Edge

“Jesus Christ, how is he doing that?” 

Mac flinched at the soft thud of metal through cork. 

“A better question, Dee,” Dennis said, “Is why are we doing this.” 

“I'unno,” Was the shrugged reply, and Mac winced against the following thud, fingers tightening around his beer before they knocked it over. 

“Huh,” Dennis breathed, “Incredible. Hey Mac, are you seeing this?” 

He'd been trying very hard not to, but at his name Mac had in fact glanced over, and the pit that had nested in his stomach dropped just a bit further. 

Charlie stood swaying in front of the dartboard, a series of colorful plastic fletching stuck in both the board and wall behind him. If Charlie swayed just right, they almost lined up with the curve of his neck and shoulders. He had that dumb high smile, eyes red and hazy, and Mac was sure Charlie had no idea where he was or what was going on, but he mistakenly felt safe nonetheless. 

“Yeah,” Mac mumbled, then lifted the amber rim of his bottle to his lips. He nearly choked on the swig, however, when Dee threw another dart, and that was it, he couldn't take it anymore, “C'mon guys, don't you think that's enough?” 

Dennis hummed in consideration, but eventually he nodded. 

“Now that you mention it,” Dennis set his last couple of darts on the bar as he stretched his throwing arm, “We could use a break. Dee?” 

“Yeah, alright,” Dee relented, then clapped, “Hey, Charlie! Good work pal, why don't ya call it a day. That's it, go have a seat, we'll get ya a beer.” 

Miraculously managing to stay on his feet, Charlie waved them off then half-swayed half-stumbled his way towards a booth. There was a small moment of anticipation as he bumped into the table then sort of collapsed onto the nearest bench, crawling his way to the wall before he finally flipped and settled with his legs stretched out straight before him. 

For a hot second that was the end of it, until Charlie groaned and slid his head and shoulders out of sight, legs being pushed off the bench so his feet could rest on the floor. 

Then, nothing. 

“What has gotten into him,” Dee mused, leaning her weight against the bar. 

Dennis turned away from their hopefully passed out friend, to face his sister, “What's always in him – Whatever he pulled from the garbage this morning.” 

“No,” Dee said, “It's something else. This honestly feels like the first time I've seen him sit down in a week.” 

“Think he's stressed?” 

“Could be,” Dee shrugged, “Maybe we've been working him too hard?” 

“Could be,” Dennis echoed, then titled his chin in Mac's direction, “You've been awfully quiet about all this, Mac.” 

“Yeah, cuz it's none of my business,” Mac bit, and the twins gave each other a very conspicuous look, one that got Mac out of his seat, “And it's none of yours either. Why don't you try leaving him alone for a bit, see how that works.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dennis placated, hands up against Mac's irritation, “Calm down, buddy, we're just worried, that's all.” 

“What's got up your craw,” Dee asked. 

“Nothing,” Mac said quickly, then headed for the exit, “I'm gonna go get us a pizza, I'll be back.” 

Shaking his shoulders to try and loosen the silent questions directed his way, Mac pushed out Paddy's front door and right into the heat of a Philly afternoon. He took a second to blink against the sudden sunlight before he took a few halted steps. Something tugged at him, some nagging feeling that he should go back, go sit, have a chat – release some of the tension still nestled in his stomach. 

But there was a cold day in hell waiting for that to happen. 

Taking a deep breath and letting it out quick, Mac steadied himself and continued down the sidewalk.

* * *

What should have taken an hour tops, somehow turned to three, and Mac wasn't the least surprised to find a near empty bar when he returned. He doubted Dee and Dennis even remembered that he'd gone out, and they'd certainly forgotten about Charlie who had managed to find himself into a proper sitting position at the booth, arms folded and head down on the table. 

Figuring a wicked hangover was already pounding through Charlie's skull, Mac grabbed a couple beers from behind the counter and set the two pies down against Charlie's forearms. He then nudged his friend with one of the bottles until he got a high whine in return. Laughing, Mac shook the beer, urging Charlie to at least peek from his sanctuary, eyes red and hair ruffled. 

“Oh, hey,” Charlie instantly perked up, and Mac smiled as the offered drink was accepted, “Thanks.” 

“Yeah, I brought lunch,” Mac said as he flipped open the first pizza box, and you'd think he'd just given Charlie a bucket of worms the way the kid's eyes lit up. 

“That's what I'm talking about,” And Mac resisted another smile as he sat down across from his friend. 

Neither spoke after the first hiss of the bottles, instead choosing to fill the heavy silence between them with pizza. Which was fine by Mac. He'd take the small moment of normalcy over the awkward half-conversations he'd try to instigate over the last week. Honestly, even though it'd only been a few days, he had missed this. 

Had missed Charlie. 

A lot. 

And he only had himself to blame for that much desired presence. 

Mac barely took the breath to speak when Charlie folded his current slice, grabbed his beer, and slid out of the booth. 

“Charlie-” But Charlie was already walking past, bumping into a customer, and shouldering his way out the door. 

Charlie seemed to be gone before Mac's stupid brain could catch on to what was happening. By the time it did, it was too late, and Mac was left slumped in his seat, a half eaten pizza growing cold on the table in front of him. Maybe they could've gotten through the whole pie if he hadn't gone and opened his big mouth. 

Mac flipped the box close with a sigh. 

_Goddammit._

* * *

“Oh goddammit, he's high again, isn't he?”

No one else said anything as Charlie dragged two very full trash bags from the alley and into the back office, cackling all the way. That had been his third trip in the last ten minutes, and nobody knew what he was doing, or wanted to ask. Although there was a very distinct smell coming from the vents. 

“See,” Frank waved his hand from his stool as Charlie raced back out to the alley, “That's what I've been trying to tell ya. He's never not high anymore. It's like the kid's living off of fumes. And if he's not getting high, he's getting wasted.” 

“To be fair,” Dennis interjected, stationed behind the bar with Dee, “None of us are ever exactly sober, either, Frank.” 

“Yeah, but this is different,” Frank said. He worried his bottom lip as Charlie came halfway through the door before he visibly changed his mind, and dragged his latest bounty back out into the alley. Frank shook his head, “I'm telling you, this isn't some weekend bender, or even a morning brew. This is some 'I'm-ready-to-blow-my-brains-out' level of inebriation.” 

“Oh come on,” Mac tried, though his brow furrowed in worry, “It's not that bad?”

“No, Frank's right,” Dennis said, wiping the bar down, “Charlie's been far more destructive than usual. Especially these last couple days.” 

And everyone took a moment to probably remember the near-drowning incident in the men's bathroom the other day. 

“Something must have happened,” Dee mused, “Think one of us should say something?” 

“Oh definitely,” Dennis said, “Though by one of us, I think you mean Mac.” 

“Me!?” Mac pointed to himself, as if all eyes weren't instantly upon him, and how was that fair, “Why me?” 

“You've known Charlie the longest,” Dee reasoned. 

And Frank said, “He trusts you.” 

“Honestly, Mac,” Dennis continued, “You're probably the only one who has a chance of getting out of that conversation unscathed.” 

“That's true,” Frank said, nodding with a solemn look on his face, “Other than Bonnie, you're the last person he's gonna stab in the throat. Especially with how worked up he's been getting lately.” 

“Yeah, try not to do it when he's high,” Dee added. 

But Mac wasn't having any of that, not with how his heart was trying to beat itself out of his chest and leave him for good, “Come on guys!” 

“Or,” Dennis interrupted, pinning Mac with his best I'm-technically-your-boss stare, “You can volunteer for Charlie Work after the kid nose dives off the roof. Up to you, pal.” 

At that, a dead quiet fell over Mac's person, his mind going completely blank for a second as he tried to wrap his head around what Dennis had just seriously implied. His brain started and stopped a couple of times, before he finally looked between everyone, maybe a hint of desperation creeping into his voice. 

“Yeah, but, he wouldn't really do that though… right?” 

Maybe they were playing Mac with the borderline pitying stares they sent his way, but it sure as hell worked as he deflated with defeat.

* * *

Mac had to admit, he was a little disappointed with how long it took him to locate the wayward Charlie after they'd closed up for the night. Their king of rats had shown neither head nor tail after being given the rest of the night off. Which wouldn't have been so worrisome if it weren't for the conversation they had all had that afternoon. Fortunately, Charlie had his chosen haunts, and one of them happened to be the roof of Paddy's Pub. 

_An ideal location, Thanks Charlie_ , Mac thought as he made his way topside. Though Mac couldn't blame Charlie for the place of their rendezvous. After all, it'd been Dennis who'd put that horrible image in his h- 

“Stop!” Mac's heart leapt into throat as Charlie tottered towards the edge. At Mac's shout, however, he stumbled backwards with a laugh, beer bottle in hand. He then fumbled with his legs for a bit as he tried to turn and face Mac, a feat he miraculously managed as Mac quickly pulled himself completely onto the roof. 

“Hey!” Charlie shouted, holding up his beer in greeting, not his first if the scattered bottles were anything to go by, “What's up brother?” 

“Charlie,” Mac pleaded, surveying the rest of the roof for any other danger, “What are you doing up here?” 

“Just hanging out,” Charlie slurred, then swung his arms wide as though revealing an audience. When all Mac did was lift a brow in response, Charle threw his head back and shouted to the spotted sky, “Enjoying the view!

“Oh shit,” Charlie laughed, shushing himself as a few dogs started barking in the distance. He chuckled quietly as he teetered once more towards the edge, causing Mac to instinctively reach for him. He only got half a step, however, before Charlie swayed back in Mac's direction. Coming to a wobbly stop well out of arm's reach. 

“God, Charlie,” Mac breathed, one hand grabbing at his hair, “Can you just do me a favor and get away from there?” 

“Away from where?” 

“From the two story drop to concrete, dude!” Mac chopped his hands towards the source of his distress, “Fuck man, you're gonna burst your brains open on the alley.” 

“Like you'd fucking care,” Charlie mumbled, downing the rest of the bottle in hand. He then burped and tossed the glass over his shoulder into the aforementioned alleyway before swaying his way to the next six pack. 

As the cap came off with a twist and a hiss, Mac placed both his hands on his hips. He'd gotten himself up there for a reason, and he couldn't back down, not this time. 

“Charlie,” Mac started, “We need to talk.” 

“No we don't,” Charlie rebuked. 

“Yeah, no, bud,” Mac put one hand out to catch Charlie's attention, “We do.” 

“No,” Charlie said, “We don't.” 

“Charlie-” But Charlie swung his bottle out before him in an arc, and Mac had to step back to keep from getting splashed, “Watch it, dude!” 

“W-w-why do you want to talk all of sudden? Hmm?” Charlie stumbled a step back, his eyes wide as they finally met Mac's, “You didn't before!” 

Mac sighed, “This is different, dude, you know that.” 

“Do I!?” Charlie screeched, “Do I, Mac!” 

“Ya, you do, and you need to listen to me-” 

“Listen to _you?_ Oh, do you hear that Philly-” Charlie turned away from him and once more shouted out into the neighborhood, “Charlie needs to listen to Mac!” 

Then he stumbled just close enough for Mac to hear while he sneered through a whisper, “From one idiot to another, I think that's a bad idea, don't you?

“Know what happened the last time I listened to you,” And the manic died down for a moment as Charlie backed away, his eyes no longer wild, but wet. 

“This isn't about that, Charlie,” Mac started, his voice softer than before, “This is about the drugs and the drinking. It's getting out of hand, the others are worried.” 

“But you're not,” Charlie mumbled. 

“Of course I am dude,” Mac defended, hurt, “You're my best friend-” 

“Then try acting like it,” and the words were just loud enough to stop Mac in his tracks. Charlie didn't bother to notice Mac's sudden change in demeanor, just took another swig of his beer, finishing it off, and reached for the next one. This time Mac startled at the release of the pressure. 

Mac sighed and rubbed at his forehead, knowing the conversation he'd avoided for so long was finally biting him in the ass – and not in a way he enjoyed. 

“Look,” Mac started, “I know I haven't exactly handled things well, and I got a little freaked out, and I took that out on you. I didn't- It wasn't- Dammit, Charlie, I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry!” 

“And?” Charlie turned to him, incredulous. 

“And what?” 

“No – No!” Charlie waved him off with a finger, hurt turning to anger, “Don't-don't-don't come up here and expect me to forgive you just because you're sorry. Sorry, Mac, sorry was for ten days ago when your limp-dicked your way home without so much as a goodbye – No you don't get to put this on me.” 

Charlie took another swig, and before Mac could try and say anything else, Charlie shook his head, and nearly growled what came next, fast and furious, “I'm not the one who acted like nothing ever happened – because it did. It did happen, Mac, it did!

“And, and, and,” Charlie stumbled, but caught himself, and pointed harshly at his so-called friend, “And it's your fault. And you can't take it back – You can't just fuck your best friend and then forget about it. You just can't. Much as you want to, ya know, much as you clearly want to, Mac – That's just. Not. How. Things. Work.” 

Charlie punctuated his point with another drink, before he died down again, once more refusing to look Mac in the eyes as he mumbled into his bottle, “But you know, fuck it. Who even gives a shit anymore. I don't. Hell, I'm over it.” 

And Mac didn't miss the sniffle that followed that statement, even as Charlie turned away from him to face the wall of the building next door. Mac didn't know what to say. Didn't know if he could say anything. So he just stood there, like he'd done all week. Like he would've done all year if he'd had the chance. 

Fortunately, Charlie wasn't done, though it took Mac a second to understand him through the water in his voice, even as he turned to face Mac.

“Man, did you even care?” 

“Of course I cared,” Mac said, taking a step forward, suddenly desperate to close the space between them, “Charlie, I still do!” 

But Charlie shook his head, not hearing or not listening, “I know I'm not Dennis, bro-” 

“Charlie-” 

“-But I thought, ya know,” Charlie motioned between them with his beer hand, the other arm out to the side and his eyes as far from Mac as he could get them without turning away, “Maybe. Maybe I didn't have to be.” 

Charlie finally looked up at Mac, and he was begging, “I'm sorry, Mac, I didn't mean to love you – I didn't! Ya know, I didn't wake up one morning and decide, 'Well, I guess I better ruin this too!' but whoops! Here we are!” 

Mac shook his head, running a hand over his mouth as he fought the urge to eliminate the distance between them. He couldn't believe how hard he had fucked up, and what little hope there was to fixing this - he needed to take it. 

“You didn't ruin anything, bro,” Mac quietly reassured, but Charlie's face only dropped further. 

“How can you fucking say that?” 

“Because I love you too.” 

For the first time in a good while, Charlie's brain seemed to stop. His face twitched as a thousand thoughts must have flickered and died, until finally he met Mac's unwavering gaze. He just, stared, for a second, before he narrowed his eyes, and came to the conclusion of-

“What?”

Then Mac knew what to do, and he stepped forward, leaving no room for protest as he placed his hands on either side of Charlie's face. Charlie caught on just soon enough to close his eyes as Mac leaned forward and kissed him. 

It wasn't the first time they had kissed, and he hoped to god it wouldn't be the last, so Mac put everything he had into that small place of contact. He needed Charlie to know he was sorry, needed Charlie to understand that he'd thought about him every day and every way since their first time together. Needed Charlie to know that he treasured what had developed between them, that he didn't think he could live without it, that Mac couldn't live without _him_.

Something must have gotten through, because about six seconds in and Charlie had dropped his beer, hands coming to rest gently upon Mac's wrists.

Mac would have kept them there forever if he could, but unfortunately, breathing was a thing and they both needed to do it. So they parted with a small pant, though not entirely, and Mac kept his grip on Charlie, their heads still pressed together. 

“I said I love you,” Mac softly answered, and Charlie kept his eyes closed as he nodded. Mac smiled, but when he dipped in for another kiss, Charlie pulled back. 

Everything froze again as Mac instantly let go. Charlie kept his head down as he looked for something before he just grabbed the nearest bottle and moved towards the edge of the roof. His movements were steadier than before, and though Mac's heart constricted, it wasn't with fear. 

Neither of them said anything as Charlie sat down on the edge, hunched with his elbows on his thighs. After a moment that seemed to stretch for hours, Charlie finally tossed over his shoulder, “Think you should go, dude. 'M not gonna fall.” 

Charlie downed whatever was in that bottle, and Mac nodded mutely before he tucked his hands in his pockets and scuffed a foot across the tarmac. He chanced one last hopeful look at Charlie that wasn't returned, then made for the exit.

* * *

Regardless of what had happened the night before, the air felt lighter in Paddy's that next afternoon. Charlie hadn't said much outside of a, “Good Morning,” when Mac and Dennis had come in, but he was idly chatting with Dee and Frank readily enough. He was even back to the usual Charlie Work, and appeared to be as sober as any of them were. 

For this, Mac had been given a number of approving looks and nods throughout the day, and even a “Good work” back slap from Dennis. He accepted everything with a half smile, half grimace. He was happy Charlie seemed to be getting back to normal, that what had gone down between them wasn't quite hurting him the way it had been. Still, Mac wished their relationship had survived more than cordial greetings and awkward glances. 

As the night wore on though, things began to ease up, and they'd at least gotten back to enjoying the jokes of the fold, even if one-on-one's were a no-go. At least Mac had the sense to hide his enthusiasm when Charlie took a break from cleaning out the trash he had sequestered in the vents to have a beer across from Mac at the bar. 

Though it was also around that time too that Dennis asked if Mac was down for a movie night. Mac's train of thought stuttered for a moment, actually considering for once his answer for Dennis, but before he could give his answer, someone else did. 

“Nah, man,” Charlie chimed in casually, cleaning out a glass with the rag, “We got plans already.” 

Oh, Mac perked up, looking at Charlie with outright disbelief, “We do?” 

“Yeah,” Charlie said, like Mac was out of his mind for forgetting. 

Still, “Really?” 

“Really, dude, c'mon,” Charlie laughed as he placed both his hands atop the bar and gave Mac a long, solid look. 

“Yeah,” Mac said, maybe sound a little whimsical around the dumb, happy smile crossing his face, “Yeah, I guess we do.” 

“Alright,” Dennis said. He looked between the two of them as though they were rambling on high again, “Well, have fun I guess.” 

Dennis turned back to pointing something out to Dee in the newspaper, while Mac found he couldn't stop smiling at Charlie, his face doing that dumb kid-on-Christmas thing it was awfully fond of. Hell, he didn't want to stop, not when he recognized the light in Charlie's own eyes and the slight twitch of his lips as he tried to restrain his own smile. Much as Charlie tried to go back to nonchalantly cleaning his glass, it was far too late for that. 

So Mac just huffed happily, biting his lip and staring at Charlie long enough to make his friend blush at the ears. Mac wanted to reach out, to take his hands and pull him over the bar for a kiss, but that was a sure way to start a scene. Instead, Mac settled for drumming a line across the top of the bar before he turned on his stool. 

“Hey Dennis?” 

Caught mid sip of a whiskey, Dennis merely looked at Mac from his peripheral, brow raised in inquisition. Mac took a deep breath to steady himself, before he blurted out what he needed to. 

“I'm fucking Charlie.” 

“ _Pfffffffft-_ ”

“Oh come on!” 

And Charlie nearly dropped his glass laughing, from what, Mac didn't know. Maybe the liquor soaked bird, or the absolute mask of horror Dennis had adopted, or maybe it had simply been Mac's frankness that had set him off. 

Either way, Mac didn't care, he just liked the way it sounded. Hearty, happy, and all Charlie. 

END

**Author's Note:**

> First fic for "It's Always Sunny" but hopefully not the last, so I hope ya had a good time reading!


End file.
